What Death Taught Me About Living. This reflection, written in the wake of my father’s funeral, explores how character and contribution outlast titles and achievements. His life reminds us that the way we carry out our responsibilities—and the impact we have on others—matters more than status or recognition. Death, uncomfortable as it is, can mercifully reorder our priorities toward what truly lasts.

A Life Remembered

On the day of my father’s funeral service in September 2025, I was overcome by the number of people who came to honour him. When we entered the chapel, the space was filled to capacity, with only a few spare seats remaining. There was a tangible energy in the room, one of love, respect, and reverence. I think he made me consider that how we go about our duty is more important and lasting than the title one holds. That feeling left an impression on me.

My father died at 94 years old. He retired when he was 92. He spent nearly 20 years with his last employer, making him around 71 or 72 when he applied for a role. Although I’m sharing this information online, his employment history mustn’t reach any government agency looking to increase the retirement age. I don’t need my father as a poster child for working longer!

He was a military man. He served in the Royal Air Force in England, the Royal New Zealand Air Force, and the New Zealand Army. He was disciplined, committed, and adaptable. My father lived through the Great Depression, World War II, the birth of computers and the internet, and a global pandemic. He had to grieve in isolation when my mother passed away right before we went into lockdown due to COVID-19. He was cheerful until his final breath. He was able to bear his burdens with strength.

Questions to Reflection On

What his funeral service taught me was to consider two important questions:

• What will be the impact on others by the person I become?
• Am I spending time doing what matters most and will last?
• What do my daily choices reveal about what I truly value?
• Where have made minor things in life major, and major things minor?
• If I audit my life today, what would I need to change?

Making a Difference Isn’t Achieved by the Role You Have

My father worked at the door as a greeter and “security” (let’s be honest, he ain’t chasing anyone at that age). It’s easy to think such a role is insignificant, low-value, and entry-level. However, he was known all throughout the city. The thousands of daily and repeat customers greeted by my father for over 19 years can have an impact. It seems he took that role seriously and was remembered and loved by all he got to know. He’s even seen little children who came with their parents, grow up and bring their children into the store. He became to many people, Granddad, the face of the store, an inspiration to work late in his life.

The level of your character matters, and how your character influences others matters. We can get distracted by frivolous things, items of little importance, although they feel weighty at the time. The promotion, the role, what the company is or isn’t doing, the workload, even the lifestyle. We can make what matters minor and what’s minor, major. But when death comes to a loved one, you audit what truly matters or should matter and place things in their proper order.

Action Invitation

This week, write down the three things you believe matter most in your life. Then, honestly compare them with where your time, energy, and attention are currently going. Choose one small adjustment that brings your behaviour into closer alignment with your stated values.

Align Your Energy and Time with What Matters Most

If family is important, but we spend more time working than having quality time with family, then is it really important to you? Our behaviour and choices determine the importance and the value we place on something. Work still remains an essential activity, but should it occupy your mind and energy after business hours? Being active is good, but is it good to live depleted to please others at your expense? Death reminds us to refocus and come back to what is important, your character and your contribution. They are merciful signals pointing us to a life that matters.